“Can you throw this away for me?” I ask, expecting her to take the paper towel and try to eat it.

Instead, she walks over to the trash can, lifts up the lid, pauses to make sure I’m watching, and throws the paper towel out.


Not the kind you’d read about in a child development book, I guess. But it was a big one. It wasn’t just that she threw it away — it was that cooking became a team effort. Instead of clawing at my legs and begging me to pick her up, I can give her little tasks. Throw the paper towel away. Close the refrigerator. Finely mince these onions. (Just kidding.)

Also, the kind of milestone only other parents can really appreciate / not be grossed out by: Saturday, for the first time, she announced when she had pooped. It gives me hope that our days in diapers are numbered. I mean, it’s a high number. But I’ll take what I can.


I am writing this because it’s almost midnight and she’s still asleep. She didn’t fall asleep until a little after 8, and it was  a hassle to get her down. But I can think of 3, maybe 4 times, when I didn’t have to put her back to sleep over and over again between her going to bed and me going to bed. It doesn’t sound that remarkable but it makes a big difference for me — not sleeping through the night, just sleeping until I’m ready to go to bed. I’ll take what I can get. And it gives me hope that things are getting better. If she can sleep for 3-4 hours 3-4 times, maybe that will turn into 5-6 hours 5-6 times, and so on.

I don’t know.

I can’t sleep.

I resubmitted my F32 application yesterday. It didn’t get scored on the first submission but the comments were good. I feel semi-optimistic about it. I feel better about the R21 that will be reviewed in February. I’m not sure why, the project just seems so good to me.

I can’t believe she’s still asleep. Any minute now…


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