Funny baby moment

This weekend, we visited my in-laws. They have a very sweet beagle, Duncan. Maya loves following him around, trying to pet him and talk to him. She followed him to his water bowl and watched him lean down and lap some water out of it. As soon as he walked away, she crouched down and tried to lap water out, Duncan-style. 

Funny baby.



Maya has been sleeping for 2.5 hours, and I have not had to re-settle her once.

I think I had always assumed that by 1 year she’d be a better sleeper. She isn’t. But I’ve mostly adjusted, now. I nurse her to sleep as she needs it, and let her sleep on a floor mattress, or even just a blanket on the floor. Much easier than spending hours trying to convince her to go to sleep without nursing, and/or in a crib.

I’ve just emerged from grantwriting hell. Last week I submitted a T32 training grant application (easy) and an F32 NRSA application (not easy). It gave me a whole new respect for my PI, who is a machine, and seems to be capable of anything.

We took Maya to Hawaii for her birthday, and for our friends’ wedding. 

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She has been walking for a while now. She took her first steps in mid-June, and was really walking by the 4th of July weekend. It’s hard for me to manage the mobile version. She likes to find things she shouldn’t do, like run into restaurant kitchens or climb up stairs, and gets very upset when I try to stop her.

We had to switch daycares yet again. One of the other moms overheard the daycare provider screaming and swearing at a crying baby. I went back in and took Maya out and didn’t bring her back.

I wish I could say the new daycare is perfect. It comes highly recommended, but Maya still clung to me when I picked her up today and sobbed as I put her in her car seat, and it broke my heart. I wish I had a crystal ball or a manual that could say she’s ok there.

I am feeling very, very tired and worn out lately.



Sleeping on my chest

After last night’s remarkable success putting Maya down by herself to sleep, I tried again tonight. She woke up after about a half hour or so and wouldn’t let me put her back down. I gave up trying and am savoring every second of my warm little mammal sleeping on my chest. Her head has that delightful baby head smell and she is warm and relaxed and heavy in my arms and someday I won’t be able to hold her like this anymore. So I will take every second I can get.


Standing on her own two feet

I had to work late tonight, so Sean picked Maya up from daycare. He texted me a video while I was at work — she was standing unsupported. My little baby can stand on her own two feet.

She won’t sleep in a crib. I guess it’s my own stupid fault for letting her sleep in bed with us — as soon as you put her down, she wakes up. I can put her down without having to hold her for the whole nap if I nurse her lying down. For a while I was doing this on our bed, and having to wait there through her whole nap in case she rolled off. So I finally stopped being in denial and pretending she would one day sleep in her Pack ‘n Play, and I put a foldable mattress on the floor. I put her down on that tonight and was finally able to leave her alone while she was sleeping.

I feel dumb for not doing it sooner — we had our evening back. Sean ordered Indian food, I cleaned the kitchen, and we cuddled on the couch watching a mediocre movie from the 90s on HBO (Primal Fear). With wine. It was all so simple but it was the best night we’ve had together in a long time. Not that the other nights are bad, it was just like a really peaceful and sweet evening together.


Another blog post about baby sleep

Maya had her worst 2 nights of sleep ever Monday and Tuesday. 

She usually wakes up a few times and roots around for a boob, and as soon as she gets it she goes back to sleep. I can’t remember any time she’s ever woken up and just cried — until Monday. 

She felt warm, so I thought maybe her footie pajamas were too hot and I unzipped them and took them off. She screamed for a few minutes before finally letting me nurse her back to sleep.

Next day, she refused to nap all day. Worse than usual — 2 minutes here or there, 20 minutes in the stroller after hours of walking. It wasn’t until then I realized she had a fever. Started her on Tylenol every 6 hours — including another 3am screamfest.

Daycare said she didn’t nap well Wednesday either. Tylenol has been keeping fever pretty well under control.

I got a good 45 minute nap this morning while holding her. This afternoon, she’s been out for nearly 2 hours. Still sleeping. 

Hopefully the sleep strike is over….


OMFG my baby is allergic to sleep

She literally hasn’t slept for more than 10 consecutive minutes today. But then she wakes up all smily and giggly. I had her lie down in a pitch black room with the sleep sheep on max for 10 minutes and she just squired and rolled and kicked and giggled.

So I gave up and we went out in the stroller to run some errands. Stopped at a cafe and ate a very nice salad outside. Fed Miss Baby little bits of avocado and tomato and quinoa. Reexamined all my life decisions and wondered why I hadn’t just aimed for trophy wife. (It was a really good salad.)

She won’t sleep in the stroller, she won’t sleep if I nurse her, she just wants to be awake and playing.

Whatever. I hate you Marc Weissbluth and and Pamela Druckerman and everyone else who points out, using science, that I am giving my baby brain damage. She won’t sleep. Whatcha gonna do.


I can still have friends! I can still go places! Right?!

Someone somewhere probably tweeted tonight about the terrible mom who brought her 7 month old baby to The Addiction Bistro in West Hollywood. I’m picturing something like:

  • I didn’t order my craft beer and in-house sausage with a side of crying baby, thanks. #pastyourbedtime #crappymoms

It was my friend’s 30th birthday. The main event of the birthday evening was a show that started at 10 — I thought just going to dinner beforehand and skipping the show was a good compromise. When the waitress didn’t even offer us a high chair I realized that we were, in fact, the assholes that brought a baby to a place that’s totally inappropriate to bring a baby. She was good, until she wasn’t, and I ate my dinner one-handed while trying to keep the writhing octopus on my lap from spilling drinks, stabbing herself with a fork, or flinging herself face first into the floor.

On the plus side, I actually have no idea how to finish this sentence, I am pretty sure I had a plan when I started it. Oh well. Good night.